


Order of the Unsullied Children of Olofluqir, Father of the Seven Gods, Silent Oracles of the Innocent and Healers of the Five Divine Paragons of Mind and the Holy Light

by xXM0n0chromeNimbusXx



Series: Unsere Blutfamilie [2]
Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Blood and Gore, Brainwashing, Cults, Drug Use, F/M, Fat Shaming, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Incest, M/M, Murder, Post-Fire Emblem Fates: Revelation, Sibling Incest, its brief and vague though, thats gonna be a big thing here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-04 21:57:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11564145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXM0n0chromeNimbusXx/pseuds/xXM0n0chromeNimbusXx
Summary: Bette finds the root of the problem arising from Siegbert and Tatjanna's return from a "camp".(Continuation of A Bloody Rivalry)





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is just me playing around with generators on the internet

Bette: Xander. We need to talk.  
Xander: Yeah, we need to talk. Siegbert and Tatjanna have been acting so strangely ever since they got back from that camp. They've been skipping meals, they've been taking off together at random, and I'm afraid Leo might be right about the potential incest playing a twisted role in all of this.  
Bette: I do remember James telling me about this month-long camp that he settled on. But, he never told me what it was even called...  
Xander: Can't you tell him?  
Bette: Oh, yeah! Right away, honey! Lalalala~  
Xander: I really am afraid, though. They're siblings, they shouldn't be in such a relationship. It's simply unacceptable!

Jimmy: Blood spills awoken now/Voiceless song as time returns/Children laugh swiftly. Wow. Mitama was right. Writing haikus is easy.  
Bette: Jimmy? Jimmy-boy? Can Mom talk to you for a sec?  
Jimmy: I didn't take those cookies, Mom, I swear!  
Bette: I know you didn't, Jimmy. But, I want to ask you something.  
Jimmy: Wh...what?  
Bette: Do you remember the camp you took Siegbert and Tatjanna to?  
Jimmy: Yeah. I even remember what it was called.  
Bette: Perfect. Can you tell me, please?  
Jimmy: Order of the Unsullied Children of Olofluqir, Father of the Seven Gods, Silent Oracles of the Innocent and Healers of the Five Divine Paragons of Mind and the Holy Light. Says right here in the pamphlet I got from some inbred-looking lunatic in a pink bathrobe in the noble's courtyard.  
Bette: What a mouthful. W-wait! Can I have that?  
Jimmy: Sure.  
Bette: Thanks, little dude. See you later.  
Jimmy: Bye, Mom!

Bette: Xander! Look what I found!  
Xander: What?  
Bette: Jimmy has the pamphlet for the camp and you won't believe what it is!  
Xander: I've...never heard of this...  
Bette: Well, it's frickin' crazy that you haven't, cause they've allegedly been around before Garon was even crowned king! Look at the name of it too!  
Xander: Wow. That's long. What is it?  
Bette: You know that freaky incest cult Shura and I kept talking about? This is it. We just call it "That freaky incest cult".  
Xander: My father told me it was all a lie.  
Bette: Okay. Welllllll...  
Bette: Huh. This cult is crazier than I thought.  
Xander: A quick preview of The Books Of Esdes, Olofluqir, and the Seven Holy Children. Long ago, our lands were all but a reality. But, everything had changed when Olofluquir and his wife and sister??? Oh, gods...Esdes had born seven gods.  
Bette: What a load of bull-honkey. I'm married to a descendant of the Dusk Dragon!  
Xander: Let me finish...Efona, goddess of the mountains, who created the foundation of the lands and created the mountains out of those who had sacrificed themselves for the gods...Dynnera, goddess of the waters, who created the rivers, lakes, and oceans from the fluids of her passions...ew...  
Bette: Do they really think water is made out of some inbred's lady-jizz? Disgusting.  
Xander: Niarae, goddess of the forest, who grew trees and bushes from her own locks...Epris, the god of harvest, who created nourishment for people and animals alike just like how Dynnera born the waters we wade in.  
Bette: Baaaaaarf...  
Xander: Axlios, the god of the skies, who created the sun, moon, and the stars, with clouds and winds from his huffs and puffs...Miana, goddess of the plains, who granted this world grasslands and life as we know it...Isaldir, god of weather, who, along with Axlios, had created rain from the tears of his wife Dynnera...  
Bette: Super incest! Whoa!  
Xander: Thunder and lightning from her rage, and snow from his own passions...  
Bette: That...was gross...  
Xander: No wonder Leo speculated such. This cult is crazy!  
Bette: Even by Azama standards!  
Xander: I'm too disgusted to continue.  
Bette: I'll read it.  
Bette: Yadda yadda yadda...Battle Of Unsung Heroes And Search For The True Prophet Of Blind Justice...well, this cult has quite a way with names...blah blah blah...The Legion of the Preservers of Night and The Divine Order of Dawn and Time...yap yap yap...The Adamant Sapphire Throne of the Ancients...High Priestess Caeli Elianna Australis Styx of the Blue Serpents and High Priest and Supreme Warlock Aquila Capella Lepisosteidae Borealis Styx of the Onyx Crow...totally their real names...  
Xander: That was something. I'm glad you skimmed over it.  
Bette: High Priest and Priestess are siblings who procreated.  
Xander: Augh...I'm gonna hurl...I'm serious...  
Bette: You've got a weak stomach for a Nohrian man.  
Xander: I was a sickly child who was expected to not live to see puberty.  
Bette: Huh. Another name is Olofluqir's Communion of the New Order. Much easier to remember.  
Xander: We have to investigate.  
Bette: Yeah. Undercover time?  
Xander: We rule an entire country together. It won't be needed at all.  
Bette: Yeeeeeeeah, you're right. And maybe we shouldn't send ourselves there. I'll just be an irresponsible mom for once and toss Jimmy into there. Actually I change my mind. I'll go with him, oh wait they might try to get me to marry him, oh wait I'm already married, but I'm not sure if they'll care or not. Ah, screw it. I know 31 ways to kill a man with this one finger.  
Xander: Well. Enjoy your stay and try not to marry our son.  
Bette: Don't make me bring out the kill finger!  
Xander: Gods, fine! Go to that...Congregation of the White Wolf...thing...or something...


	2. Part 2

Takumi: Why did you take us again?  
Bette: Backup. Shura's in Hoshido and couldn't make it, and Jiro's too busy working.  
Hibiki: I miss Ryoma...  
Bette: Of course you do, sugarplum.  
Takumi: Well, Prince James was right about this place being hard to find. I can't see a damn thing in this fog!  
Jimmy: The fog is a sign. Hell, it isn't even fog, it's smoke!  
Takumi: *wheeze* *cough* *choke* Wh-what are they doing?  
Jimmy: They...like setting things on fire. At least this specific sanction. Camp Euphoria.  
Hibiki: There are others?  
Jimmy: Yup! There's three in Nohr, and two in Hoshido. I actually heard Niles mentioning it one time too. It was like...Camp...Phantasm...I think?  
Man: Hello, my beautiful children!  
Bette: Who the hell are you?  
Jimmy: Hello, Ara Aegialeus Serpens Ichnaea Sigma Alcyoneus The Flawless, Divine Paragon of the Congregation of the Enigma, in Camp Euphoria.  
Bette: He's got a good memory, that kid.  
Takumi: I'm disturbed, but intrigued about what I might expect from this.  
Bette: So, are we here?  
Ara: I'm merely a guide. I have blindfolds for everybody!  
Hibiki: What for? Freaky dungeon stuff? I'm sorry, but everybody except for this blond young man right here are already married. Although he is still taken by my own daughter.  
Ara: No. See, we are very secretive, and we do not want anybody knowing where we are.  
Bette: Won't all the turns and hills tell us even if we can't see?  
Jimmy: Just roll with it, Mom.  
Bette: Alright.

Ara: Make way, make way, for we have visitors from another land!  
Takumi: This is weird.  
Jimmy: Let's see how weird it actually is...  
Jimmy: Yo, dude! Can we take our blindfolds off now?  
Ara: Yes you may. All of you!

Bette: Jeez, this place looks like a Hoshidan prison camp.  
Jimmy: I think we gotta talk to this guy in here. Connochaetes Orientalis Prionailurus Major.  
Takumi: I find it hard to believe that all these names are real.  
Bette: They're probably not.  
Connochaetes: Hello, star children. Are you here to join the light of Olofluqir's Communion of the New Order?  
Takumi: What are we here for?  
Bette: We're here to ask you what you did to our children.  
Connochaetes: Come again?  
Bette: One was a little chubby, brown hair in some weird-looking mullet-type style, other was a tiny blonde girl with the bangs and the mole?  
Connochaetes: Yes, starchild. Brother Zephyrus Betta Occidentalis and Sister Celestine Australis. I know who you are talking about. Brother Eptesicus Orientalis sent them here for their wavelengths were not sound.  
Takumi: You're a weirdo.  
Connochaetes: Well, we do not like to use earthly names such as yours. Would you mind giving me all of yours?  
Bette: Excuse me? Do you seriously not know who I am?  
Jimmy: They've cut all ties with society as we know it. Relax.  
Jimmy: Aaaaanywho, this is my mother, Elisabeta, Takumi, a prince of Hoshido, and Hibiki, grand duke of Hoshido and husband to King Ryoma.  
Connochaetes: Royals? Out with you if you plan on giving us away!  
Bette: No way! I'm not exposing you guys unless my children end up procreating with each other!  
Connochaetes: But it keeps bloodlines pure! Half of the starchildren here are Purebloods!  
Bette: Whatever, freak.  
Connochaetes: You, large one, your new name shall be Mother Viverra Paradoxurus Orientalis, silver-maned one, you shall be Child Sylvilagus Casuarius, and you, feminine one, shall be Father Chiroptera Borealis Celestina  
Takumi: We never agreed to joining your cult, you whackjob!  
Connochaetes: No, no, no, you're not joining us unless you want to...  
Bette: Who are you calling fat?  
Connochaetes: Heavens, no, Viverra! That would violate our divine policy on how to treat our fellow sisters, daughters and mothers!  
Bette: So, do we have to kill a goat or something?  
Connochaetes: No, we do not kill one which has been lovingly crafted by Miana unless we must feed. Now, while within these walls, you shall only call one another by their new names. Understood?  
Takumi: Yeah, whatever.  
Bette: It'll take some time to get used to, but yeah, sure...  
Hibiki: What's my name again?  
Jimmy: Chiroptera. Prince Takumi is Sylvilagus, Bette is Viverra, and I'm Eptesicus.  
Takumi: These names are stupid.  
Jimmy: You can't change it.  
Hibiki: I think they're pretty.  
Bette: What do we do now, Conch Shell...?  
Connochaetes: We must welcome you! Come with us!

Connochaetes: My children! We gather on this day to welcome three new starchildren to our compound. They are not here to stay, as they are visitors, but we shall welcome them with open arms! Now, we shall recite together with our visitors, permission, to have them here without danger!  
Connochaetes: Let us begin, now! Read this with me, you three...  
Connochaetes: Revered Mother Esdes, ruler in the heavens, I ask of you in your name. Give these three children your divine blessings, as to not put them in harm's way and give them the light they so want. I ask this of you on both my knees, o flame in our souls. Provide us all with your glorious grace.  
Bette: Uhhhhh...Infinite Father Olofluqir, guardian of souls...  
Takumi: ...uhhhh...w-we ask of you in this hour. Illuminate us with your soul so...we may have these peaceful presences in your vision....  
Hibiki: ...we p-plead this of you with a sincere heart, o eternal light. Support us with your divine light and holy power....  
Jimmy: Immortal Gods, protectors of life, may you forgive our sins if they ever are committed...and absolve us of them, bringing light to our darkened souls...  
Hibiki: ...This is a load of barnacles...  
Jimmy: Well, thankfully, that's it, so you can stop complaining.  
Bette: This cult is gross.  
Jimmy: I...kinda skimmed over the contents of the pamphlet.  
Hibiki: It's a freaky incest cult.  
Jimmy: Ewww!  
Takumi: That's why I'm scared.  
Hibiki: Look at all these names...Corona Calesius, Lambda Cymopoleia...Virgo Asteria...Sagitta Cymopoleia...  
Jimmy: Oh, that's a list of names picked at random and given to people that step foot in here.  
Connochaetes: Children! Please relax yourselves...we must go to the High Priest and Priestess...  
Jimmy: I should have read the pamphlet more thouroughly...

Connochaetes: High Priestess Caeli Elianna Australis Styx of the Blue Serpents and High Priest and Supreme Warlock Aquila Capella Lepisosteidae Borealis Styx of the Onyx Crow, please welcome these children. They are not here to stay, but merely visitors, and will be parting ways with us soon enough.  
Caeli: Welcome, welcome...we are the leaders of this order.  
Aquila: Welcome, my starchildren. I am High Priest and Supreme Warlock Aquila Capella Lepisosteidae Borealis Styx of the Onyx Crow, reincarnation of Olofluqir, and this is my lovely wife and sister--  
Takumi: BARF!  
Aquila: I do not tolerate such insolence! Guards! Take this fool for "fixing"...  
Hibiki: Hey! If you're taking my brother-in-law, then take me too!  
Takumi: H-hey! L-let go of me! I'm serious! I'm...a prince of Hoshido, you can't do this! Help meeeeeee!  
Aquila: As I was saying, this is my lovely wife and sister High Priestess Caeli Elianna Australis Styx of the Blue Serpents, reincarnation of Esdes.  
Caeli: Hello, my friends! Welcome to Camp Euphoria, the main branch of the Order of the Unsullied Children of Olofluqir, Father of the Seven Gods, Silent Oracles of the Innocent and Healers of the Five Divine Paragons of Mind and the Holy Light. May our children welcome you with open arms.  
Hibiki: Where did you take Taku--I mean Sylvilagus?  
Aquila: For "fixing"  
Bette: When you put it in quotations, it sounds like you're killing him or drugging him.  
Aquila: Shut it up!  
Jimmy: High Priest Aquila...can we leave?  
Aquila: But you just got here!  
Bette: Jimmy--I mean Eptesicus, we gotta find the root of Zephyrus-slash-Siegbert and Celestine-slash-Tatjanna's weird behaviour before we can go. Try not to marry me, okay?  
Jimmy: Alright, mom.


	3. Part 3

Takumi: Wh-where am I...?  
???: ...You are a prisoner in The Malevolent Elysian Dimension...Child Sylvilagus Casuarius...for the crime of disrespecting our leaders, you shall be fixed accordingly...  
Takumi: Who are you?  
Omicron: I am Omicron Chronos Sagittarius, reincarnation of the god Axlios...and my wife, sister, and cousin, Gamma Euthenia Adastreia, reincarnation of the goddess Dynnera...  
Takumi: You guys are insane! If i had my bow with me, I'd kill you both in a heartbeat!  
Omicron: You're a bold one. Threatening death to a god and his love?  
Takumi: I have a wife and a son back home! You can't lock me up like this! It's inhumane!  
Gamma: It's ready, Omicron.  
Takumi: Wh-what's ready--YOW!  
Gamma: Relax, young one...you will learn to love...  
Takumi: Gurrrrrrrr...bluuuurgh...guuuhhhhhhh...I...have...a...w-w-w...wife...and...s-s...son......  
Omicron: Release it. It should be enough serum. Feed him the tablets.  
Gamma: There you go...down the hatch it goes, Child Sylvilagus...  
Takumi: Ehehehe...I-I feel...funny...

Jimmy: Where's Takumi?  
Omicron: All children bow to us!  
Bette: Um...  
Takumi: .........  
Hibiki: Takumi...?  
Takumi: ......Who's Takumi?  
Bette: You.  
Takumi: ...Non...nonsense...my name is Child Sylvilagus Casuarius...  
Omicron: A new child has joined us in our great path to the light! No longer shall he be Prince Takumi of Hoshido...now, he has been reborn as Child Sylvilagus Casuarius, starchild of our great Holy Rulers...  
Hibiki: This is where I cross the line. What did you do to my Angelface?  
Takumi: Relax, Chiroptera...I've seen the light...and the gods have been cradling me in their loving arms like the child of them I am...  
Omicron: You are to think of something impure if you think about marrying to an in-law.  
Hibiki: Marrying an in-law? Isn't that oxymoron?  
Hibiki: No, wait...but you see, I'm already married to a leader of a country, with two children to boot!  
Gamma: Viverra, Eptesicus, please come with us...  
Bette: Dude, what are you doing?  
Jimmy: Hibiki!  
Omicron: Chiroptera!  
Jimmy: Whatever! Help us!  
Hibiki: Oh no you don't--  
Hibiki: Yaaaaah!  
Bette: What's in that syringe?  
Follower: It's to keep harmful tendencies at bay!  
Bette: You're not going to have me marry my own son, are you?  
Jimmy: Please don't! I love her, but never in that way!  
Gamma: Move along! We trusted you, Eptesicus. Why would you do this?  
Jimmy: Because incest is wrong! It's wrong in all forms! It causes genetic defects and can totally muck up your bloodline!  
Gamma: Nonsense!  
Jimmy: My uncle Koji was close to marrying his cousin Azura! His mother was Queen Mikoto and her mother was Queen Arete! They were sisters! Sisters! That makes them cousins!  
Omicron: We'll have to fix you right here, right now!  
Bette: You're being controlled! I'm convinced!  
Jimmy: No! Please! Katerina the Second is just a newborn!  
Gamma: Stop speaking such nonsense!  
Jimmy: I thought you guys were doing good. But, as I can see now, all you are is just a bunch of corrupt puppets. That serum...those tablets...they're controlling you...everyone here...it's sickly. Mothers and sons...brothers and sisters...uncles and nieces...fathers and daughters...aunt and nephews...cousins...and everything in between...you've been brainwashing them to think they're doing the right thing by breeding with their own flesh and blood...Aquila and Caeli...they're not right in the head. I noticed the eyes that everybody except Caeli had...she reminds me of a certain someone...my little sister...Tatjanna...she tried to take advantage of Siegbert just so she could have power...the same power that Siegbert would gain upon King Xander and Queen Elisabeta's deaths. She took advantage of a sin...and in this case with Caeli...she brainwashed her own brother to fulfill a sick dream she had...that serum has been controlling my dear brother and sister, along with Prince Takumi, along with everyone in your sick little cult camps, and now my future father-in-law Hibiki. Words cannot describe how evil this whole thing is. It disgusts me beyond words. I was so naïve to think this was all fun and games. Now I know. You're just puppets. Sickly, inbred puppets. Release me or I'll kill my mother.  
Bette: What?! Prince James Leon Vanderjager of Nohr, are you seriously going to kill the woman who brought you into this world?  
Jimmy: You know what, Mom? If I have to to get out of this gods-forsaken mess, then yes, I will. I don't want to do it, but I have to do it.  
Gamma: ...  
Omicron: ...  
Jimmy: Is that not clear enough?  
Gamma: ...Omicron...what...are we?  
Omicron: ...My name isn't Omicron...I don't want that to be my name...  
Gamma: You know what?  
Gamma: I...I agree...  
Jimmy: Naming? Oooh! I'm great with those! You'll be Siegmund, and she'll be Sieglinde. Sound good to you?  
Siegmund: Yeah...  
Sieglinde: Those sound good, but it doesn't change the fact that we're monsters...  
Bette: So...are you going to release us?  
Sieglinde: Only if you do one thing.  
Jimmy: What's that?  
Siegmund: Kill Caeli.  
Bette: Whoa, really?  
Sieglinde: It's the only way, your majesty.  
Bette: *gasp* And they're calling me "your majesty"! Oh, I love you, Jimmy!  
Jimmy: Oh, I love you too, mom. Now let's go kill some incestuous delusional freaks!  
Bette: Okay then...heh heh...

Xander: Where are they?  
Ryoma: Hibiki told me he was going to this cult compound called something rather long. Supposedly this cult's followers have had at least one romantic encounter with a family member. It's disgusting.  
Xander: Agreed. I asked Leo to watch Siegbert and Tatjanna so they don't both end up in the beds of one of them.  
Ryoma: Good plan, Xander. Now, where is this place?  
Xander: Nobody knows. They're rather secretive, yet they have five compounds. Three here in Nohr, and two in Hoshido.  
Ryoma: They're in Hoshido? How come this was never to my knowledge?  
Xander: I just told you. They don't want anyone knowing where they are, but, after Bette told me about them, it actually introduced me to this.  
Ara: Stop, you scum!  
Xander: Heh. Haven't been called that in a while.  
Ryoma: Who are you?  
Ara: I will not reveal my name to attackers!  
Ryoma: Tell us or taste my blade!  
Ara: Never!  
Ryoma: I see your option is death. Fare thee well, nameless man.  
Ara: ACK--! *gurgle*...  
Xander: That was a little extreme.  
Ryoma: My sweet Hibiki is in there! I will not rest until he returns to me!  
Xander: But with him dead, we'll never find our way!  
Ryoma: We'll find it ourselves! Let's go, Xander!  
Xander: I'll stay close behind!  
Ryoma: *sniff* *sniff* I smell fire...  
Xander: I do as well...could it be a sign?  
Ryoma: Quite possibly...  
Xander: This road is quite winding. My horse is beginning to grow tired.  
Ryoma: How would an equine such as yours be tired from all of this when you once jumped down a cliff while upon it?  
Xander: It might be this smoke...I can barely breathe...  
Ryoma: I...I see something in the distance...

Caeli: How dare you make such threats! I'll have you executed!  
Bette: We can overpower you easily! Look at you, lady! You look like an old, dying dog!  
Caeli: You dare disrespect us?  
Jimmy: You've brainwashed your own brother! And all your inbred minions too! Stop all of this or die by our weapons!  
Caeli: We should have disarmed you all!  
Jimmy: The only armed people were me and Hibiki! He has several sheathed daggers strapped to his thigh at all times!  
Hibiki: That serum wears off so quickly.  
Takumi: Yeah...I do feel a little woozy from the medication, though...  
Jimmy: Prepare to die.  
Caeli: Over my dead body! Children! Seize them!  
Xander: HYAAAAAH!  
Ryoma: Hibiki!  
Hibiki: Ryoma, my sweet little hubby wubby!  
Ryoma: Takumi, you forgot this!  
Takumi: Why did you bring it?  
Ryoma: I figured you needed it.  
Xander: Bölverk is too heavy for me to carry...  
Bette: Remember the kill finger, Xander~  
Xander: I thought you were joking.  
Bette: Nope.  
Caeli: Don't think you can take me down that easily, you scum.  
Takumi: You're so full of yourself!  
Bette: Let's all do this as a family!  
Jimmy: Well, fractions of two families joined by a relationship between members of their respective families.  
Hibiki: Family is still family, and with families, with or without shared blood, it's still family, even when only one still stands.  
Caeli: Stop this!  
Jimmy: Never!  
Ryoma: Let this be a fair fight.  
Hibiki: I got the daggers! Raise your weapons!  
Bette: Kill finger time!  
Caeli: Ha! Olofluqir's power shall trump your children's toys easily!  
Ryoma: How dare you insult my blade!  
Takumi: Children's toys? Rude.  
Caeli: Revered Mother Esdes, ruler in the heavens, hear me now in my desperate hour. Touch my soul so I might repel these evil forces. I ask this of you with true devotion, o eternal guardian. Bless me with your illustrious flame, and Infinite Father Olofluqir, guardian of souls, with troubled heart I come to you. Renew my wisdom so I may conquer your foes. I plead this of you as your devout follower, o bountiful spirit. Provide me with your eternal wisdom.  
Takumi: Stop with your bogus religion crap!  
Caeli: Sylvilagus...  
Takumi: My name...is...TAKUMI!  
Caeli: Augh! M-my arm! Esdes, do something!  
Bette: Your gods ain't gonna help you, lady!   
Xander: I'm a horrible father for suggesting all of this!  
Jimmy: No you're not, dad. We're both in the wrong, really. We didn't know better. Blindly suggesting that Siegbert and Tatjanna marry each other has nothing to do with this situation. It was a mistake.  
Xander: We'll talk later.  
Jimmy: Sure thing, dad.  
Caeli: You...monsters!  
Hibiki: Let me at her!  
Ryoma: Hibiki--  
Caeli: AGH!  
Bette: Crippling her. Good move, my dude!  
Jimmy: My turn!  
Caeli: Esdes...Olofluqir...is this punishment? Wh-what did I do...?  
Jimmy: That'd be delusion.  
Caeli: AGH! M-my arm...it's...  
Bette: --Mommy's turn! YAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
Caeli: Ooooof!  
Bette: NOW, it's Kill Finger Time!!!  
Caeli: What are you going to do with that sausage-like weakling of yours?  
Jimmy: That sounds wrong.  
Bette: How about this?  
Caeli: Ugh! Uhf....  
Xander: What is she doing?  
Caeli: *choke* AAAAAGH! M-MY THROAT--*gurgle*...  
Takumi: That's brutal......  
Bette: And up it goes!  
Hibiki: Oh, it got in my mouth!  
Bette: I'll take the eyes out as a gift to Peri...Hibiki, hand me one of your daggers for a second.  
Hibiki: Why?  
Bette: Just do it!  
Hibiki: ......  
Bette: Thanks...Yah!  
Hibiki: Ohhhh....gods...you're over-the-top, aren't you...  
Bette: Here you go...  
Xander: .........  
Jimmy: ......Wow. Ruthless.  
Ryoma: ...Xander......  
Xander: .........  
Bette: There we go. She's dead.  
Xander: Are you--?  
Bette: I tore out her throat and everything with it, Xander, yes, I'm sure she's dead. See? The kill finger is real.  
Xander: You already told me that.  
Takumi: ...whoa...  
Ryoma: ...a single finger...  
Takumi: This bathrobe is tacky.  
Jimmy: If there's one thing I learned from Forrest, it's that brownish-gray and pale pink do not mix.  
Jimmy: ...Wait, he never told me that...he told me that actual tights shouldn't be worn as pants. And that smoking's dangerous.  
Bette: Sieglinde? Siegmund--  
Bette: Aaaaaaand, they're all dead.  
Aquila: .........  
Bette: Aquapet?  
Aquila: Thank you...  
Takumi: Can you tell me where my clothes are?  
Aquila: In here...  
Aquila: And...Queen Elisabeta...  
Bette: Yeah?  
Emmerich: I'm Emmerich. A nobleman from Cheve, just to clarify for his majesty's sake.  
Bette: I'm the one who killed her. I'm a thug, not a knight, so I don't need to follow the chivalry code.  
Xander: I do recognize you...  
Emmerich: Anselma...she was never a well woman...  
Jimmy: Was Anselma this lady's name?  
Emmerich: Yes.  
Bette: Sorry I killed your sister. Your freaks asked me to.  
Emmerich: It's fine. Really, your majesty.  
Bette: Forgiving somebody for killing their sibling. Not something I hear every day...  
Emmerich: I've been trapped like this for decades...I was still conscious, awake and aware of how she was controlling me, but when under this spell, I could never do anything about it...I could only take the abuse...all the things I did...and the things I said...it was all me...I had no control over anything I did. It was all Anselma...and our inbred children...  
Xander: I see.  
Bette: All I can feel is sympathy. Is that bad, Xander?  
Xander: Not necessarily. Brainwashed or not, this man still did wrong.  
Emmerich: Kill me if you want.  
Xander: ...No. I'm not my father. I'm a man with empathy.  
Emmerich: Hey, Queen Elisabeta?  
Bette: Yeah?  
Emmerich: Answer me this. Do you have any daughters?  
Bette: One's a victim of your sister's gross incest brainwashing and the other is less than a year old. I'm not giving away my kids like that.  
Xander: Why would you ask something like that?  
Emmerich: I wish to remarry.  
Bette: Alright. Any specifics? Fat? Skinny? Hoshidan? Nohrian? ...other men?  
Emmerich: Gods, no!  
Bette: Uhhh...I could give you to one of my sisters...they don't seem to give a rat's behind about me other than the fact I'm queen of their country.  
Emmerich: Well, that could be a start.  
Bette: Alright, Emmy! Let's go. Watch out for the corpses.  
Ryoma: You know, Xander, using twine to find our way here and back wasn't a bad idea...  
Emmerich: ......


	4. Part 4

Xander: We're back.  
Leo: Hello, Xander.  
Bette: So, how are the two?  
Leo: Well, I've averted any chance of an heir being born between the two, and they've stopped trying to kill each other as well. Though they still seem to have a bit of bad blood left in them.  
Bette: Oh, and this is Emmerich. He was the leader of the freaky incest cult, but he was brainwashed and forced by his sister to inbreed with her numerous times and run the cult with her. Turns out those pills and the weird purple liquid Siegbert and Tatjanna were taking was the stuff controlling them and making them see each other as newlyweds.  
Leo: I forgot to give it to them one day, and they...actually stopped acting like that, so, with my speculation, I figured that the medicines were the root of it all. So, Niles and I disposed of them accordingly.  
Niles: We burned them.  
Bette: Why burning?  
Niles: It's a great way of destroying evidence.  
Bette: You didn't kill anyone. You just destroyed a bunch of screwed-up love potions and stuff.  
Emmerich: So...this is Castle Krakenburg...  
Bette: Yep. We're just dropping by, though. I'll take you to my family's estate right after this, yeah?  
Emmerich: Okay...

Hinoka: Ryoma! There you are!  
Hibiki: We're back, all!  
Sakura: W-we missed you!  
Kiko: Hey, Ryoma!  
Shiro: Hey, Dad's back! Pops and Uncle Takumi too!  
Ryoma: Thank you all for the warm welcomes.  
Takumi: Tell Oboro to not ask where I was.  
Oboro: What are you talking about?  
Takumi: *sigh* Fine. I was brainwashed, put in a pink bathrobe, forced to join a cult, shot a woman in the arm, watched another woman tear that other woman's throat and eyes out, and tripped over the corpse of an 8-year-old girl with a club foot. So, T-L-D-L, we brought down a freaky incest cult.  
Oboro: .........Wow...what a day, huh?  
Takumi: Tell me about it.  
Kiragi: Dad!!  
Takumi: Whoa! H-hey, now!  
Hibiki: Hahaha!  
Kiko: Well, at least it's good to be back together, eh?  
Hibiki: Sure is~!  
Shiro: Yeah.

Siegbert: ...  
Tatjanna: ...  
Siegbert: ...  
Tatjanna: ...  
Siegbert: ......  
Niko: ..................  
Tatjanna: ...  
Siegbert: ...  
Tatjanna: ......  
Siegbert: ......  
Tatjanna: ............Promise to never speak of the past month's events ever again?  
Siegbert: ......If the concept of keeping a promise was a button, I'd be pressing it a thousand times. In other words, I promise, Tatjanna.  
Tatjanna: Good. Forget the throne. It's all yours, man. Maybe I'll drop my title and be a painter instead. Or a knight.  
Niko: ............  
Siegbert: Good on you.  
Tatjanna: Normally I'd go down to the morgue and mess with the dead bodies, but now that all of this is water under the bridge, I just feel like knitting.  
Siegbert: Then go knit.  
Tatjanna: Alright...  
Tatjanna: Siegbert.  
Siegbert: I haven't seen such a sincere smile from you in a long time.  
Tatjanna: Thanks, bro.  
Niko: ..................mmmhhmmmm.........

The End


End file.
